Does your PHP network have double back-end XHTML redundancy? Is your PDA hard drive triple access enabled for Wi-Fi management? If you don't have end-point security in your adaptive architecture strategy, then you need us.
You might not even know if you need us. Which means you need us even more. You don't understand how much you need us because you're not as smart as us. You don't understand things like Continuous Network Access Compliance Upload Speed (even though you pretend like you do at parties when people talk about it). You don't understand these things because you're not smart. But that's OK. We're smart. You can trust us.
If you hire us, you'll never see us in person. We might respond to your emails from time-to-time, but usually not. It's not that we're too busy to talk to you, it's just that your emails are usually so stupid that we're too busy laughing about them with everyone in the office.